I Wished!

With every minute passing, with each day crawling and with each year slipping away from my life…the wish to take control amplifies.

Each moment just enhances the anger, aggression and wrath burning within me. It’s very easy to dictate one to take control of his resentment and suppress it somewhere deep. But, when you see the one you love in pain, this resentment can take form of a fire which burns your capability to think and process.

Each moment of excruciation for your loved one becomes a moment of heart-ache for you…seeing the one who matters the most in a vulnerable state, you bleed somewhere inside.

It seems as if the fate line from my hand has faded away and now all I’m left with is a bundle of wishes. Disgruntled and restless, I worked so hard throughout my life to earn something. And now, when those moments appear so close to me, I see her dying inside every single day.

Life always appealed to me and I took it as a challenge to prove my worth. But now, either the challenge has lost its meaning or my passion has vanished. Those desires and yearnings, all appear lame and worthless when I see her crying.
I want to do all for her and I want it now, when she needs me the most.
What’s the point of gaining all that I ever yearned for…when she doesn’t need me?
Will those achievements matter then?
No, rather they will lead me to a more miserable condition than before.
For me, life is her happiness…and now I see her crying everyday… this helplessness is agonizing!
Oh my Lord, either give me the strength to diminish her mourning or take this life away from me, since it’s nothing more than an unspoken slow Death I’m going through….
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