The color Pink!

For the past 20 years, I have been taught as a girl to be shy, honest, loving, caring and at the top silent. Loving as a human but silent as a commodity, a commodity which serves and serves and nothing is there which in return it deserves.

The atmosphere, the environment, the movies, and the relatives all guided me to be a subordinate because I’m a girl. A girl who studies to serve, marries to serve and who if earns is also to serve, her life should be spent to make others happy no matter what she gets as an outcome.

And the most weird thing is that I followed these norms, the norms of the so called experienced, the norms made from but against religion. The norms which sometimes make our women feel not human. I followed them blindly like every girl does in our society. I played with dolls, made houses, dreamed about pink dresses and tried to be a master chef. I didn’t care if this was what I wanted to do, didn’t bother if my instincts, my passions were suppressed somewhere dying to perspire.

Then I passed school, went to college but life didn’t change. Same old girls obsessed with the way they look externally. I began life there with an effort to pursue admiration for beauty, clothes, jewelry and desire to look the way they did. I forced to live a life where no body will call me a manly woman.

But as the time passed by I realized that I’m not one of them. Not the one who loves jewelry, who wears pretty bright clothes and certainly not the one who looks at the eyelashes and complexion rather than the real soul and expression. And yes! That was the time I discovered myself. I didn’t love the color pink, I didn’t wish to live a fairytale and find my prince charming who will climb up my braided hair. I wanted a life filled with adventures; I wished to explore my inner self. I’m not an object to be dressed and utilized rather I’m a full-fledged member of the human community. That was the time I started following my dreams.

Since then I have been challenging myself at every point of life and testing my stamina to the maximum. When people see me deviating from the stereotypical “girlish” standards they call me manly, when I cut my hair they call me insane, my efforts of independence are seen as obsolete by them. Thus they try hard to break my confidence and make me feeble. But I can see the hidden fear in them, fear that one day I will discover those strengths that every woman is supposed to repress, fear that my denial will encourage the ladies around me to do the same.

I’m neither a feminist nor a member of male hatred community instead I like to have my share of space in the world, the space that every woman deserves just like any man. Briefly, I do whatever I feel like doing instead of whatever others want me to do. And if after going through this article you find me tomboyish or a manly woman then surely you’re influenced deeply by those stereotypes created by our ancestors to degrade any woman of substance who dares to survive in this wretched world.

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13 thoughts on “The color Pink!

  1. i simply loved the way you wrote that article. that reminded me the girl i was when i was young. sometimes things and sometimes you yourself get changed, not for the fear of society but for people you love:). anyways i just wanted to appreciate your courage and point of view and just wanted to put up a point for u people to think about…does a man really gets his space in the world?as he wants it?…
    overall .yes man has an edge over female about a lot of things in our society..but since his childhood his parents want him to be a successful in every way, earn a lot, accept the girl they choose for him and after marriage, never treat her well vs his own family;)
    n when he gets married, wife wants a house from him, luxurious life from him, good schools for their children, money to get their children settled, at the same time parents want him to take care of them both physically and financially "as they did for him when he was child". these are all the facts of life, no one can deny them or maybe no one should deny them…but the point is same ..man has his share of sufferings in this bad bad world:)
    way to go girl..keep it up!!

  2. Girl(Female) which is most respectable and loving thing in this world…a man who can destroy himself for love (girl), a man who can destroy himself if his mother, sister or wife get any abuse…

    Girl (Female) has a big state of honour in islam…

    Why you think that girl is Subordinate>>>

    Is a mother subordinate to her childrens..?????

  3. Good Writing.. very appreciative
    But for a girl (Female) a man sacrifice everything…
    Father for his daughter for her better life, education, needs etc.
    A brother or a lover can destroy himself if a girl gets any abuse from society..
    A son is much caring for his mother… and you know mother is a very respectable relation in this world which has no comparison…
    So girl is not a subordinate like thing in this world…
    Your writing is awesome keep going on and write article on mother i think you can write very impressive because you are a female…

    • hey, thanks alot for reading and appreciating my writing.
      I think you have read it frm a completely other perspective…my focus is on the fact of how they are required to conform to some stereotypes and how certain behaviours are demanded from them.
      Another thing, women are treated like commodities in general except for a 'mother' which is a sober relationship only for her 'children' but still she is a subordinate of her husband with those stereotypes attached to her personality.

      lastly,i have a few articles for my mother i hope you'd like to take a look at them :)

      thanks.

  4. Anum……………..article is good………………..however most of the women living in pakistani society………….their fascination………..being pink girl comes to an end by teens…………..cutting their hair or not cutting them………….wearing pink or not wearing pink is not a big deal……………that is choice………..even a man may or may not cut his hair………wear pink………………but look at the role women is playing in our society……….i read it some where yesterday……………women are 51% of pakistan population……………….they are 2/3 of the employed workforce……..thus a major contributor to pakistan's economy…………..but they are the most low paid workforce here……….the sad part is that the women role is never acknowledged ………..looks, dresses, how u carry urself matters least…………………..for me a girl who is carrying a tomboyish look is no different then an ordinary girl…………i have came across a lot number of tomboyish in my life…….never in my life i have preffered a burqa clad girl over tomboyish one or vice versa………….what matters most is wht is she contributing to society and pakistan…………too much attention on outlook………..outerself…………………….that is wht is destryoing pakistani society

    • firstly, thanks for reading and giving me your feedback ayesha 😀
      Secondly, I beg to disagree that 'Looks' don't play a role because we live in a society where culture is intermingled with religion, wearing what is not our culture is considered irreligious as well.
      Girls are not given the freedom at an early age till teens to identify what they want to do rather terms are defined for what they should do…..Which results in what you see in later age. As you mentioned they are a part of the lower strata of workforce that is because psychological testings have proved that 'Females' carry 'Low Self Esteem' i.e. they feel they don't deserve to be equal to men. A woman working is considered to be someone trying to be equal to men instead of considering an Occupation as a neutral profession and measuring excellency of females not compared to men rather on an equal scale!
      The fact that tomboyish girls don't effect you or your perception doesn't mean that they are not being Demeaned by the Society as well……This article is based on a lifetime of observations and experiences that a tomboyish or a little Tougher girl has to face once she goes a little away from the norms!
      I totally agree that outlook is not important but again i'd like to quote that psychology studies worldwide show that outlook contributes to your job selection much more than your credibility when it comes to female and this is the attitude that i want to impact through my articles! 😀

  5. well i agree that looks in pakistani society play a great role………but i was emphasizing my point of view……………..on other hand u might not believe that same outlook worked for me the other way…………….once i was working i was few of my company getting 6 figure salary and car plus other benefits…………and most of the people were not able to believe that cause I was not carrying myself as i shud be………..covering my head and half of the body with duppata………..most of the people thought i might be someone from the lower (low paid) staff of the organization…….i guess my employer was more concerned with my work then my outlook…………basically what i was emphasizing was that its not tht u carry a bold or tomboyish look and u will face the difficulties………….even with the outlook of traditional pakistani women u can face acceptance problems……….. stereotypes i mean…………..where highly paid jobs are mostly associated with a very stylish girl……a girl from average middle class family as tomboy is not accepted as easily as a girl from high family with tomboy look

    • Hey….well again thanks for your feedback, its highly appreciated 😀
      Actually psychology goes the other way round, its been proven that mostly highly stylized girls are given jobs but of lower level as Beauty and Brains are generally believed to have a negative correlation. In essence, females are judged even when they follow the beauty league defined or not.
      You job experience is definitely a example of a modern liberal society…..but the essence of my argument here is all about the fact that Females if not nurtured with freedom end up feeling uncomfortable with themselves……They might be very successful but if they were never given the opportunity to accept themselves the way they feel, they will always suffer from Low Self Esteem i.e. only if they inside feel something against the norms. 😀

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