Is this the real YOU?

During my exams last semester, one day while cramming my notes I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a blunt, outspoken, straightforward girl with a damn care attitude, but with this look came a thought, a thought which clutched my mind and I just couldn’t get out of the strong grip! The thought was not so outrageous rather it was just a simple query i.e.

“Is this the real me?”

Yes! It wasn’t the real me. I’m not a person with a damn care attitude towards life, I care about small things; things like what would I do in the quiz if I don’t study? Or what shall I buy for my mother from the small sum of money I saved from my pocket money. I was a nerd; a nerd who studied hard day and night to get good grades and pretended to be cool. A cool girl who didn’t study at all and still somehow got good marks!
But who was I hiding from, why did I never tell anyone that how much I studied or why I wanted to mask my concentration in studies from others? What is a COOL personality? Who defined those terms?
Let’s take a look into it from the perspective of a normal teenager who doesn’t know what’s in and what’s out!
We go into the university with high spirits, aspiring dreams, passion and zest to be something big someday. The ambience that seems so conciliatory the first day gradually throws back our deficiencies upon us. We are never appreciated for what we are rather always pointed out the way we should be.
The various definitions get their ways into our heads like whose Cool, Hot, Geek, Funky or a Rock star. A few things necessary to get into “The Elites” are not the money rather there is a whole recipe to be a part of the mighty agenda! The recipe includes a variety of compulsory ingredients like designer clothes (If you don’t have them at least pretend), English with an accent, a few top class gossiping qualities, highly artificial attitude and oh yes! You should be humble and sympathetic to those who are not the “Elites”.
To get into the circle of the Elites, all the girls and guys tighten their belts after few weeks of the university to gather the ingredients. They get on the nerves of their parents whose old mind thoughts become mind-boggling now. Girls go on a diet to get in their perfect skirt and the guys pretend to smoke even if they don’t know how to!

But has someone ever thought why do we have to fit in the already settled parameters for being the “Hottest”, in fact what is the Hottest or the Coolest? What is it for?
No, it’s not for success. Neither does it fulfill the aspirations that were bubbling in the students when they joined in nor does it actually make them different from what they are in real. It’s just a mask we use, which in terms of psychology will be defined as “Relational violence”. In literary terms it’s violence done by females to suppress the aggression within them but I believe it’s rather a term for both genders who participate evenly in this ruthless brutality of dividing people into classes.

What could be worse than changing yourself for the sake of something which doesn’t even exist?

Are we so superficial that vague gushes of artificiality carry away our persona? We; the greatest creation of God can change it’s thoughts, beliefs and forget his/her own identity for the sake of being a center of attention?
We see girls dying of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia, young teens dying drunk due to speedy road accidents, smoking as a sacred ritual for the sake of attention and an addiction to lose weight, parents’ presence seen as a source of embarrassment in the “IN” circle and young teens sneaking out to make gf/bfs to check if they are in demand or not. The values with which we lived for years suddenly become lame in front of the individualistic approaches? Is appreciating those, who gave you birth, strength and support, not worthwhile enough to waste time on? Why do we change our paths from the library to the café for being eminent? Why do we make fun of those who wear glasses or are not close to a perfect figure? Why a big car and late night partying is becoming an obsession rather than recreation? All we need to do is think!

Think with the brain that the Almighty Allah gave us, ponder upon what we actually are and realize that we are not what the world defines us as, we are what our mind shapes us as. The world is making its progress to a dangerous end where people pursue the legendary trail without even questioning it for a moment. But I think it’s high time that instead of making movies like mean girls, teeny toons, never been kissed etc.. We focus on throwing away those fake, lame beliefs, which forge young people and overshadow their true brilliance.

Its time!

 

 

The Average Man

Moods…Emotions…Life….
What an incredible blend of laughter, sadness, melancholy, and ecstasy….life is just amazing isn’t it?
Sorrows, devastation, everything sometimes compel us to end Life. But we still live it!
Why? Why do we spend our time crying waiting for a shoulder to appease our excruciating soul?

This question sometimes is mind boggling, but sometimes it’s also a source of understanding a perception of life which is not just ‘Skin Deep’.
I like walking my way to my university or to travel by any local medium of transportation. To put it in rather common words, I enjoy every moment I spend observing the ‘Average man’ of Pakistan.

I am supposed to live my life in the boundaries of an ‘Elite’ class university, where everything just seems perfect. Everyone is accepting and everyone has the basic ‘Freedom’ to be the way they like to be. It’s perfect, just perfect!

Others might find this atmosphere interesting or the transformation of a dream world into reality. But for me, it’s just fake, the fakeness of accepting someone just to be the part of the ‘elites’. Fakeness, because so that we learn to hide your biases instead of eliminating them.

For me it’s suffocating because in fact it slowly and gradually diminishes the acceptance of a ‘Common Man’ within its circle. Everyone seems to be running to pretend to be the acceptor whereas at the same they all are afraid of becoming the one who needs acceptance!

I was also suffering from this acceptance trauma just like my fellow ‘Educational elites’ till a few months ago. Whenever I looked at a simple poor female travelling with her pack of 3 little children or an old slightly smelly old man…I simply loathed them. But then my inner accepting elite would ask me to be pretentious and to act as nice as I could.

But why was I pretending that way? And who did I want to satisfy with my pretension? It wasn’t I or my mind for sure, oh yes! It was my fellows and ‘Their Culture’.
I looked at those hands with scaly skin and a few blisters here and there on the feet of those women. I felt horrified, why did they work so much to earn just a piece of bread?
Their feet, supposedly a sign of beauty for all of us, but their’s were dried and withered. How did they survive with that?

A further more astonishing fact was the peace and self assurance I mostly saw on their faces. Though a few young ones did look at my fancy gadgets with a little glimmer in their eyes, but the elders never budged on whatever anyone else was doing.

Men, patches barely sewn onto their clothes, all messed up hair, tired and very dirty yet very serene as if their whole day was spent in an air conditioned car serviced by a chauffeur.
Why are they so happy? Neither money nor fame, neither home nor job…what do they have to be happy about?

This question bugged me and bugged me. On the other hand, when I looked at my ‘Elite fella’s’ we had barely nothing. Though we had money and our own home, a little bit of fame and all the facilities we could think of…yet we all seemed dissatisfied. All we had was this restlessness which was in much more excess than simple ambition. Our ambitions were rather encompassed in ‘Jealousy’, our competition was rather ‘Revenge’ and our passion was not to win but for ‘Others to Lose’.

On the contrary the poor, D class individuals had the wealth of trust, love and assurance which we all lacked. You can’t imagine the ecstasy a maid felt when her little baby enjoyed the bus by running around its corners. How ecstatic the dirty laborer was to see his stop coming…amazing!

We, we are never happy; we never enjoy such little things in our life. It could be that may be because our happiness is bound in the deception of money, fame and luxuries. We are so entrenched in pretending that sometimes we forget that what we originally are!
I love being with the common man…because he is the actual ‘Free’ citizen….who lives free of the labels society gives him. He enjoys what little things life has to offer:

Living his ‘Average life in an Extraordinary way’!