Is this the real YOU?

During my exams last semester, one day while cramming my notes I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a blunt, outspoken, straightforward girl with a damn care attitude, but with this look came a thought, a thought which clutched my mind and I just couldn’t get out of the strong grip! The thought was not so outrageous rather it was just a simple query i.e.

“Is this the real me?”

Yes! It wasn’t the real me. I’m not a person with a damn care attitude towards life, I care about small things; things like what would I do in the quiz if I don’t study? Or what shall I buy for my mother from the small sum of money I saved from my pocket money. I was a nerd; a nerd who studied hard day and night to get good grades and pretended to be cool. A cool girl who didn’t study at all and still somehow got good marks!
But who was I hiding from, why did I never tell anyone that how much I studied or why I wanted to mask my concentration in studies from others? What is a COOL personality? Who defined those terms?
Let’s take a look into it from the perspective of a normal teenager who doesn’t know what’s in and what’s out!
We go into the university with high spirits, aspiring dreams, passion and zest to be something big someday. The ambience that seems so conciliatory the first day gradually throws back our deficiencies upon us. We are never appreciated for what we are rather always pointed out the way we should be.
The various definitions get their ways into our heads like whose Cool, Hot, Geek, Funky or a Rock star. A few things necessary to get into “The Elites” are not the money rather there is a whole recipe to be a part of the mighty agenda! The recipe includes a variety of compulsory ingredients like designer clothes (If you don’t have them at least pretend), English with an accent, a few top class gossiping qualities, highly artificial attitude and oh yes! You should be humble and sympathetic to those who are not the “Elites”.
To get into the circle of the Elites, all the girls and guys tighten their belts after few weeks of the university to gather the ingredients. They get on the nerves of their parents whose old mind thoughts become mind-boggling now. Girls go on a diet to get in their perfect skirt and the guys pretend to smoke even if they don’t know how to!

But has someone ever thought why do we have to fit in the already settled parameters for being the “Hottest”, in fact what is the Hottest or the Coolest? What is it for?
No, it’s not for success. Neither does it fulfill the aspirations that were bubbling in the students when they joined in nor does it actually make them different from what they are in real. It’s just a mask we use, which in terms of psychology will be defined as “Relational violence”. In literary terms it’s violence done by females to suppress the aggression within them but I believe it’s rather a term for both genders who participate evenly in this ruthless brutality of dividing people into classes.

What could be worse than changing yourself for the sake of something which doesn’t even exist?

Are we so superficial that vague gushes of artificiality carry away our persona? We; the greatest creation of God can change it’s thoughts, beliefs and forget his/her own identity for the sake of being a center of attention?
We see girls dying of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia, young teens dying drunk due to speedy road accidents, smoking as a sacred ritual for the sake of attention and an addiction to lose weight, parents’ presence seen as a source of embarrassment in the “IN” circle and young teens sneaking out to make gf/bfs to check if they are in demand or not. The values with which we lived for years suddenly become lame in front of the individualistic approaches? Is appreciating those, who gave you birth, strength and support, not worthwhile enough to waste time on? Why do we change our paths from the library to the café for being eminent? Why do we make fun of those who wear glasses or are not close to a perfect figure? Why a big car and late night partying is becoming an obsession rather than recreation? All we need to do is think!

Think with the brain that the Almighty Allah gave us, ponder upon what we actually are and realize that we are not what the world defines us as, we are what our mind shapes us as. The world is making its progress to a dangerous end where people pursue the legendary trail without even questioning it for a moment. But I think it’s high time that instead of making movies like mean girls, teeny toons, never been kissed etc.. We focus on throwing away those fake, lame beliefs, which forge young people and overshadow their true brilliance.

Its time!

 

 

Dreams Die….

We all see dreams, we all visualize them with our eyes wide open… you did too right?

We all see what’s inside our heart and what we are capable of achieving!

Then you start getting older, probably reaching late teens and following a path formulated long ago by your parents. It’s not that they forced you to do so; it’s just easy to follow that.

The struggle to get in the best school and the fight to win the battle of board marks. The fight is so overpowering that the ability to look through things get to an unconscious part of our brain. The unconscious; which is not only hidden but it is hidden forever.

Soon you start spending the momentous time of your life, the university life. Freshmen….a nascent follower trying to adapt to the culture of the locals with no rationale of what lies beneath the superficiality. Sophomore, a time spent learning, enjoying and hoping to get used to the atmosphere of your university. Junior year, a realization of what talents you had when you were 15 and now what are you left with? Anyways we still continue enjoying what the university and others defined as enjoyment for us.

Finally the finale of your university life begins….thinking about the last few years and yet confused about your future is the next dilemma that awaits you. You enjoy and hope to get the best job out of every opportunity available.

Then you graduate, with a robe and degree you take picture and sooner or later you find a job. May be not in your dream organization but somewhere you’ll end up earning some good money and enjoying an independent life.

But now that unconscious dream of making it big starts breathing again!

You can’t sleep at night because the frustration of not actualizing your talents is somewhere still awake. You buried it! Yes! You buried it deep down…but in the corner of your spinal cord it still possesses a space to pull adrenaline in your veins.

You suddenly seem depressed because that adrenaline is now dead….making you feel dead. The death of your dreams due to your own cowardice, family’s pressure or anything in the world is ultimately affecting you. You are married, have two cute kids and want to see them in the best corporate world making millions or want to marry your daughters to the best husbands available in the world who will provide them comfort. But unconsciously what you want might lead to the death of their dreams….might kill what was just killed inside you! You lived the life of a human just leaning over success or blindly following the epitomes of a happy family but did you attain happiness?

Think about it……since there is always an opportunity yet unveiled….