While I’m Alone!

Suddenly it started pounding fast…..I was hundred percent sure that it will burst in a few moments. While, my fists were getting wet and mind trying to register what’s happening, my eyes searched for a person to call out. I wanted to scream and let someone know, that hey! I’m not alright; hey do you care if I die…..hey unfortunately, I’m not fine. I wanted to shout and tell someone, but that someone wasn’t there.

If I stretch my hands out, will there be a friend to hold it and help me out? Will there be someone to help me catch my breath? Will there be someone who would tell me that it’s gonna be alright? But, I was the only one who cared!

I was alone, there were hundreds of people around me but I was alone. With my eyes darkening, with every chunk of time being taken away, I was feeling more and more lonely. It was sheer darkness, more of my mind rather than sight all spread ubiquitously.

I closed my eyes, barely reached my headphones to plug in my ears and prayed that I just get better. The clock ticked and ticked, with my head down, I just thought of the people who would make me feel the way no one else could.

The moment I closed my eyes, my Mom’s face just popped up. Yes! She was the reason I was alive….the reason why I was the good part of me only though. My sisters, the cuties….who stood by me….who cried and smiled with me….they were there even making me smile at this time.

But what about all those ‘Social bonds’ I developed here? All those friendships and all those ties? Don’t they care if I’m not well? I couldn’t think of a single name to call who will leave everything to come and make me feel alright! Not a single one!

We all learn, how important it is to be good at ‘PR’, but what good it does to me if people are only there to spend some good time. When we are lonely as we can be, nobody’s there to help share the burden of your sorrows. We ignore the one’s who love us unconditionally for these people or this ‘PR’?

The rush of these thoughts and the sheer realization, of how my mother loved me despite of all the bad I was, gave me the spirit to get up back on my feet. It pushed me to pick up my bag, grab my books and leave for home. Why should I expect anything from anyone, while I had someone who would hold me tight and tell me she cared!

Why should I bother, thinking about the world when I had a few people who kept on thinking about me 24/7!….I should never do that, and I shall never do that.

Some lessons are learnt the hard way. But the truth is that every moment of your life has a lesson waiting to be deciphered.



A New Year’s Eve!

5…4…3…2….1! Its new year, 2011 is here finally!

2011, with new hopes for some and resolutions for others.

Life lightens up for some or shines for others…but have you ever thought that for some it’s just another night which gets darker and gloomier with every passing second. For some its sheer obscurity with a tinge of salt from the tears they cry…the tears for the regrets they have earned, the tears which they cry with a hope to fade away the memories of 2010!

For some the beginning of a New Year is overshadowed by the ‘ending of 2010’. When others dance to their tunes and dream for the future, others just live in their past and sacrifice their future for the sake of repentance.

31st december 12:00 am, the moment when the whole world is in a state of ecstasy!

It’s difficult for you to imagine this moment as a flash of sadness with crippled emotions of anger, fury and melancholy for someone out there. Someone who maybe seems fine with a perfect smile to entertain the acquaintances…someone who hides her mourning just the way ‘the happy world’ would want it.

But, just wish that the new year brings that someone a chance to explore something soothing enough to appease the ulcers on her soul…and give the fortune to find someone who could gauge not only the apparent comfort rather the internal anguish which gets deeper and darker with every moment that passes by!!