Colored Reality!

We see what we want to see…perversion, obscenity, liberalism, secularism or piety, many things, if not all; depend on the way we perceive things.

Perception can be deceptive; it can manipulate reality and color it the way you want to. Grey can look black and white can look grey, if your eyes are tilted towards negativity. Many things we see are contextual and but everything we see is perceptually diverted towards our own line of thinking.

You must be wondering that how can our perception be manipulative? But sadly it is and the kind of manipulation you see here is the unconscious manipulation. The manipulation is the addition of personal ‘tinge’ to everything you observe, visualize, implicate and foresee. This personal tinge is an all encompassing and translucent sheath which curtains everything around us. The curtain has components of culture, religion, context, experience, relations, emotions, persona etc. But the curtain is pronounced in its impact when it adds shades of grey and whites to your ‘expectations’.

Let’s review an example:

A lady goes to the market and buys something really heavy (in terms of physical weight). She’s barely dragging her shopping bags over the floor to her car and there comes a gentleman in the scenario. He perceives that girl to be in a difficult situation and his chivalry probes him to help her. He steps forward and asks “Hey, can I help you in carrying that stuff to your car?”

I assume you all perceive it to be a situation of a cordial gentleman, offering a helping hand to a troubled girl. But what if the girl scolds him and in fact shouts at him for getting in her way? Or perhaps the girl snaps at him or ignores him completely?

This is where the girl’s perception manipulated an otherwise simplistic scenario. It doesn’t mean she’s pugnacious or frustrated rather we have to dig deeper before judging her.

She was a girl brought up where being a ‘girl’ was considered equivalent to being ‘vulnerable’ & ‘useless’. She was laughed at, judged and even ridiculed by her family and relatives for being a female. It’s these experiences which then accumulated to create her perceptions. She started perceiving every person’s smile as a mocking attempt on her gender.

Rose Colored Glasses

Now, when this gentleman asked to help her, she was bound to perceive it in accordance with her previous experiences. Her heart pumped faster thinking this was another attempt to humiliate her. She didn’t want to feel weak and that’s what precisely a helping hand meant to her.

Now, after looking at the perception formation of this girl, I’m sure you understand the functionality of perception. We often judge and sometimes ourselves misperceive other’s intentions based on this manipulation. So from now on, try to avoid the manipulation, think about the situation in an exclusive context before jumping to conclusive judgments! :)

Clashes!

An appallingly unfriendly, cold, superficial and egoistic individual is the way most of the ‘men’ define me. They think I have a hell lot of attitude and I treat them like ….!
This horrible explanation of course shocks me and provokes me to rectify this crime, which I commit in my every interaction somehow!
So I decided to sincerely appraise the situation!
Skimming through the horrifying memories of the past I realized that almost 99.99999 percent of the times, I had CLASHES! Yes collisions with all the men I ever encountered. But the main issue is why? Why didn’t I end up being their friend just like everyone else?
The first issue could be that I’m a huge fan of a Feminist’s approach. May be I, implying a lot of modernist’s theories on men and when not getting the satisfactory response end up fighting. But when I intensely analyzed the situation, I found that it was not a true justification. Since I never implied my theories to my professional meetings. Though it doesn’t lower the theories’ merit or their status rather I never mix my professionalism with sentimentalism.
The second point could be that I was innately rude with an inborn attitude issue. Though the latter could be true but innate impertinence should have hurdled my friendships with anyone, isn’t it? And if that’s the case then it would be a ‘hasty generalization’ since I have a wholesome number of ‘female friends’ who find me superbly affable. Thus, this assumption could be easily negated.
Then as a student who has taken ‘human behavior’, my utmost duty is to examine this phenomenon a little more deeply. And after reviewing many hypothesis lets examine the premises through ‘social psychology’s perspective’.
Before getting to the premises I must define myself as a person first. As a girl I have always been accused of being tomboyish because of my unethical attitude with the color pink. My self-confidence has been misconstrued as over confidence because I never compromise on my rules and limits. And additionally others have acclaimed me as an egoistic woman because I believe in not accepting the mistakes I never committed!
After considering all the above attributes ‘social psychology’ explains my conflicts with the opposite sex as “Ego Clashes”. I.e. these clashes are not the fruits of my ultimate ‘insolence’ rather my self-love mistaken as narcissism hurts them internally.
Their ego is flattened by my indifferent attitude, which compels them to create artificial conflicts with me. These conflicts may be gets them the amount of attention that they think they deserve. But when they still remain futile in making me accept their dominance, they start over with being over nice.
The over nice attitude is always a sight to enjoy! Trying to get their self-esteem satisfied they in fact end up losing it a little more. Then comes in the extra-rude attitude, which is the most entertaining part. In this last shot they try to use their ‘ definitive power’ to screw anything which could benefit me. They might be successful sometimes in using their deviated political arms to hurt me and could end up in making me suffer to an extent.
But they can never break my Ego because it’s stronger than theirs. I’m ready to suffer whatever comes in my way in order to maintain my Self-respect and Yes! These collisions strengthen me a little more!